Example, Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
I hate this for the obvious reasons but it’s especially annoying to me because my wife didn’t take my surname!
They do that so that legally your wife can open the advertisement. They don’t and you wanted to be a loser, you could report her for tampering with your mail. I’m not sure what the postal investigator would do. “Knock it off and call a divorce lawyer” might feature somewhere in the possibilities.
In any case they’re just pulling names off a list some where. They assume you’re married and in a typical cis relationship.
Same reason they add “or current residents” as well.
They want it read, they don’t care if it’s you or your wife or the luchador that’s randomly moved in with you.
“Mrs. [Husbands firstname lastname]” is a pretty dated form of address. I feel like I don’t see that a lot anymore. Except in very formal situations and from people who don’t realize it’s out of style. It’s also seems to have become more acceptable to refer to all women as “Miss/Ms.” Regardless of her martial status. I sincerely doubt the address mistake was meant to be offensive.
One thing I do find infuriating is the fact that it in numerous states in the US, it is much harder for a man to take his wife’s last name when getting married than the other way around. A woman can mail a form and a copy of her marriage license to the Social Security Administration and get the DMV to reissue her driver’s license. That’s all it takes.
A man often has to get a court order which I think is very discriminatory.
Does the court order only need to be aquired if a man wants to take his wife’s surname? What if a man just decides to change his surname to something else? What if that just so happens to be his wife’s surname?
That depends on the state but at least in my state it requires a court order for both situations.
Damn that is silly. Where I live you just go to the local municipality or similar and request it done.
Name changing upon getting married was made illegal in 1981 around here, my girlfriend gets pissed when people make the mistake and use my family name to refer to her!
Where is that?
Quebec, makes things much simpler from a record keeping perspective
Until you have kids, of course, when the parents must decide which name/combination of their names to give the child, and that combination is limited to only one hyphenation by law.
At least the mother can give her name
Illegal, or do you just have to go through the same process as any other name change?
Personally I ditched my problematic last name gladly, but my MIL kept hers
Illegal to do as part of the wedding process but if you want to do it just like anyone else can then no problem
In Norway we write “name with family” on post cards or invitations etc.
Sorry, I don’t follow. Can you share an example?
to: Dr. Jækel Hydensen with Family.
Probably not proper English but point is you refer to the “other” as the named recipient’s family
It’s especially irritating when it’s something like a wedding invitation, they should know you well enough to get it right! Often that comes down to some old fuddy-duddy’s misogyny.
Even if she had taken your surname, she still has her own first name, not John!
It is the most correct way. Even if she didn’t take your name, and even if your not married, she is your Mrs. Not sure why this would be infuriating, it’s the language.
Edit: honesty, the replies below are sexist and masogonistic. Yes, the women that you married is your Mrs, it’s the definition of the word. And likewise the man that you married is your Mr, for the same reason. It does not matter whether either party changes their name, it applies either way.
To suggest that marriage is ownership rather than partnership is disgusting, you should be ashamed of yourselves. Did slaves get referred to as Mrs. (slave owner)? No, they did not. Your suggestion is entirely inappropriate, and takes away from the reality that slaves had to live with. Disgusting misappropriation!
Grow up people, you can’t change the language to reflect your personal biases, insecurities and misunderstandings.
Then it should be just as ok to use the woman’s name as the man’s, right?
monicle pops out
Yes, it is actually!
My wife isn’t my property
Absolutely disgusting rhetoric you are pushing. My wife is my partner, and vice versa. The prefix works in both directions, with either my surname or my wife’s surname, or even my wife’s maiden name. You are whitewashing slavery with you comment and should be ashamed of yourself!
