New research indicates that spanking has minimal effects on children’s development, explaining less than 1% of behavioral outcomes. The study suggests that controlled, limited spanking may be effective for some young children, especially when used alongside milder discipline methods.
  • irish_link@lemmy.world
    24·
    1 month ago

    I got spanked and even hit a time or two as a kid.

    I turned out okay considering. Had kids and thought a spanking or two wasn’t bad considering what i went though so that’s the stance i took. Thankfully we had ip cams instead of video baby monitors when they were babies. $90 vs $350 at the time so that’s what we did. I set them up with my Synology to record continuously.

    I watched a monster overreact to a common child reaction. [Not justifying just explaining (I was tired and thus had a short fuse as happens at times with young kids)] Thankfully two things had happened. (1) I had the IP camera recording everything that happened, (2) I wanted to see why my kid was acting up and make sure I was in the “right” to spank her. Spoiler, I was not. I saw an angry man react to a kid who didn’t want to do something.

    I cried, because I was my father when I was punished unjustly as a kid. (There were times I actually was a shit head and it was warranted, but i also remember plenty of times it was not) That morning with my 2 year old it was not. Because of that day I no longer fell into the Spanking is okay for me group.

    Don’t get me wrong I know there are times it can be helpful but I realized at that moment I was not a good judge of when those times were. This means I was no longer going to do it. That was me but I don’t judge other who only spank.

  • Alex@lemmy.ml
    275·
    1 month ago

    I’m not sure how assaulting children is ever going to build an effective relationship between kids and their parents. Parents should represent safety and unconditional love because then the educational message will have an easier time being accepted by the kids.

  • a9cx34udP4ZZ0@lemmy.world
    84·
    1 month ago

    Some kids absolutely need to be spanked. I was one of them - timeouts did nothing. Taking things away did nothing. Getting the threat of being spanked? Definitely stopped me in my tracks. Actually getting spanked? That’s the last time I was going to try whatever stunt caused it.

    My kids don’t need to be spanked and never have been, other methods have always worked to curb bad behavior. Anyone saying “spanking is never acceptable” has apparently never had a shithead boy who is unphased by other forms of punishment.

    For adults wondering if it’s OK to spank: if you’re spanking your kid out of anger or it’s the first thing you turn to, you’re doing something very wrong. It should be the big red button of last resort.

  • Surp@lemmy.world
    42·
    1 month ago

    Idk I guess if this was like Dragonball z and we could put a power level on the spanking then maybe it makes sense? Like ok we’re going with a power level 5 spanking today out of 10000 lol idk though…some kids seem like they could use a spank on the bottom but I think that’s the extent it should go. When I see people hitting their kids in other ways I feel awful inside but a butt spank never seemed to bother me when I’ve seen it in action as long as it’s not like they are trying to hit the bell at the top of a carnival hammer game.

  • suburban_hillbilly@lemmy.mlEnglish
    65·
    1 month ago

    I’m not surprised at the study. It’s basically impossible to control for between individual variation sufficiently without an RCT, but that will never happen with spanking. There will always be this problem of which end to label the cart and which end to label the horse.

    I guess I’ll also poke the hornet’s nest while I’m here…

    I don’t really have a problem with corporal punishment. Not for children, or adults, when appropriately administrated. I say this a person who has firsthand experience with a public school that utilised corporal punishment and an angry parent just taking it out on you for being a kid.

    At school a paddling was just another step in the process. You’d lose recess time, you’d have to clap erasers or write lines, you’d get sent to the principal’s office and then and only then get a paddling on you return trip if you kept it up. There always had to be two witnesses and the teacher who sent you down wasn’t allowed to do it. If that still didn’t work they would call your parents to come get you and paddle you again. The last one basically never happened

    It was so different from someone who was angry at you just trying to make themselves feel better that I could easily recognize it even as a small child. It always baffles me when people deny any daylight between the two, I assume it’s born out of a very fortunate ignorance. I never felt unsafe at school. It never diminished my trust in anyone there. If I got paddled at school—I knew it was coming, I knew exactly why, and I knew I could have made a sensible choice to avoid it. That was not the case at home.

    The other reason is the moral one. I never see people with well behaved children claim you can forego punishments entirely and I have yet to hear a reasonable explanation for why intentional emotional harm has more virtue in it than intentional physical harm. Because that is what the alternatives are: isolation and deprivation. A time out isn’t harmless, losing recreation and exercise time isn’t harmless, they just don’t leave marks you can see.