No judgment.

  • Volkditty@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Happily married for 10 years, but my wife’s independent streak was one of the main things that attracted me to her. We share plenty, but it’s always been important to us to have our own hobbies, friend groups, and private time. I don’t want to be her whole reason for living and I don’t want her to be mine.

    • neo2478@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      I feel this is so underrated and often looked down on relationships, but it’s so healthy.

      I find my relationship to my wife stronger because of it. We are not together because we need to but because we chose to every day.

  • j4k3@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Multiple passionate independent hobby interests with curiosity and depth. Really, that is my indicator of a potential unconstrained abstracted mind; a potential coexplorer that can find interesting tidbits in almost anything in life—which is what I’ve always wanted. I choose to remain an unconstrained nomad otherwise. I successfully avoided a few reality-TV-evenings zombies from my younger years and avoiding those anchors was one of my best choices in life. I would have made them miserable.

  • Cock_Inspecting_Asexual@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    A man who isn’t sexually attracted to me and acts more like a super close friend than a lover.

    I’m Asexually Aromantic, but I can’t deny that I DESPERATELY SEEK the close connection of a man. If he’s hella masculine (Buff n stuff) then that’s bonus points, but I just don’t really care at this point, just- fuckin coddle me or some shit. 🤧

    I’m mortified of Sex and anything sexual in nature; even if I wasn’t scared of sex, I have never in my days of being conceived, birthed, and breathing, looked at a man and thought, “Aw yea, I wanna fuck 'em.” I have no trauma either; Im deadass just built that way.

    Dating always felt so fuckin weird to be, the idea of pet names and claiming someone as a boyfriend or girlfriend always weirded me tf out. I’m not Poly either; dating/romance is foreign to me and always has been that way.

    The only guys I get “nervous” around are Japanese/Korean men. I 100% don’t understand why, but I wanna befriend someone who is native to that area and be super close with em. But I’m black so I don’t think it’s gonna happen 🙃 (I did a little digging, Japan is a bit more tolerant but a lot of articles say Koreans don’t really like/care for Blacks all that much 🥲 I wanna have hope, but I’d prefer not to fuck around n find out the hard way.)

    I want a guy who won’t push me or judge me as I am. I want a guy who, when people ask “Hey are you two dating”, we both go “FUCK NO!”. I want a guy who I can hug, kiss, sleep in the same bed with, and through all of that still be 100% Platonic.

    I’d prefer(??) they be mentally “cracked out” the same way as I am (ADHD/autism) But ong I just don’t fuckin care, if he’s funny and willing to put up with my sexuality/unhinged personality, HE’S A FUCKING KEEPER.

    • Mango@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      You’d love to be my dog except able to talk and also probably not actually being a dog.

      • Cock_Inspecting_Asexual@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        uhm… hmmm…

        Yea fuck it, I guess ima be a dog-person.

        I actually adhere moreso to a “Catgirl” kinda vibe. I wear cat ears a lot and buy Kawaii or Japanese Lolita(NOT THE BOOK) fashion. never tried Puppy girl before…

        Damn it now you got my goofy ass thinking >:/

        • Mango@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          I was being kinda hypothetical and mostly just pointing out how much I coddle my dog, but NGL I could live like that.

          I’m not asexual though. I’m an antinatalist. I only avoid sex because of my ethics.

    • RBWells@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      That is what I’d do if I ever was divorced or widowed. If we can make it and retire I don’t want more kids, we raised so many. But it’s really the best work I’ve done. I would take in a couple more if I was single. Not babies, older kids. It’s hard though.

  • jpreston2005@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    kindness, fitness, similar sex drive, sense of humor, willingness to try new things, likes to celebrate (something I struggle with)