My husband and I have been together for 19 years. In that time he has met my dad exactly once. As we’re standing on the front porch, watching my dad drive away after the visit, he turns and looks at me and says “now I get it”.
I am sure that felt validating
Oh my gosh yes. My dad is a complex person, I do have a lot of sympathy for him, but that only goes so far. The healthiest way I’ve found is a sporadic email convo a few times a year.
Apparently it can also cause a break up when your SO decides they don’t like your family.
Eh… I issued heavy disclaimers before my wife met my family, because I am very different from them.
Perhaps you’re way different because of how they are, and bringing your SO to meet your family still highlights how that came to be.