People who make me feel like crap or worse off then when I encountered them consistently are written off and out of my life
Doesn’t matter if its family, nobody is entitled to your attention and suffering and it does nobody any real good for you to succumb to the inevitable dysfunction it creates in your life and relationships and also material conditions.
Admit when I’m wrong.
And learn how to defend when you’re not. Some assholes use it as an excuse to divert blame to the guy who tends to admit fault, even if it’s not actually their fault.
Probably my favorite realization in life was that I might be wrong. Always, no matter how confident, we are all wrong sometimes. Even about the most basic facts, we could be wrong because brains are weird. So, I just try and minimize that while recognizing it.
Stay completely off all social media, including Lemmy.
Never admire an entire person, only the aspects of the person you find admirable.
Work on diagnosing and fixing the problem first, worry about appointing blame later (if at all).
This one is very important. This is one of those helpful rules I’ve actually learned in business environment first before I started applying it in personal life.
“First thing you learn is that you always gotta wait.” Taken from the Velvet Underground about buying drugs, but I think it’s pretty applicable to everything.
Look after your tools, as the old saying goes.
Forgive yourself when you fuck up
Still learning this one.
I find I easily forgive myself if I immediately recognize the fuckup and have a plan started or in the works to prevent it happening again.
Kind of a “fool me once: shame on this. fool me twice: shame on me” alto its infinitey recursive so I would simply start back at 1
If I learn a lesson from it, its money in the experience bank and I trust myself to make it right and mitigate it as best as is possible
It helps with inverse thinking cuz now you know one of the paths or constituents of failure in whatever the endeavor and you have the opportunity to get closer to success next time
Make it work, then make it work right.
And it’s companion for understanding how things came to be- every complex working system invariably developed from a simple working system
Have strong opinions that are weakly held.
Don’t let “perfect” be the enemy of “good”
Now that I think about it, my principles like my life may be all about engineering…
Have strong opinions that are weakly held.
Ooh this is excellent phrasing of a good principle
Why does one need strong opinions? And what are they actually?
To me, having a strong opinion means I have thought about the problem space enough to understand what I believe are the important aspects and what optimizes them. Remembering to hold them weakly in the light of previously unconsidered or under appreciated arguments prevents me from becoming overly rigid.
MVP is a good tool I was just mentioning. Picked it up unknowingly from coding, still working on generalizing it to my life but its working and rightly for me
Don’t let “perfect” be the enemy of “good”.
When I make maps for ttrpgs, I’ve started using a tool that is, let’s be honest, kinda crap. The maps I can make using it can only ever be “good enough.” This is good, because it means I don’t spent hours trying to make it perfect, and instead just finish prepping other things.
ITT Americans using morning news headlines to cope with their miserable 3rd world existence.
ITT presumptive condescending europeans
I have no more right to interfere in someone else’s life than they have to interfere in mine.
Avoid people who don’t share that view.
Be unremarkable but no so unremarkable as to be in and of itself remarkable
Treat others the way you’d like to be treated. When I call customer support, I don’t get mad at the person because it’s not their fault. If someone flubs up my order I don’t say anything. I try to smile to everyone even though I don’t want to. Even if I don’t make their day better, I try to make it at least bearable.
Stay curious. No one is over educated to the point that they can’t learn.
The other side of this is that anyone, no matter their background, can teach you something.
Don’t make excuses. If you fucked up admit it and make a plan to prevent it from happening in the future. Excuses themselves do nothing to help a situation.
You can’t fully trust anyone, not your parents, siblings, extended family, spouse, best friend forever, no one. Don’t count on anyone for anything and accept that the only person in your life who has your best interests at heart is you.
Done
