I mean she has a dog and she pays for his food and all, but her mom is actually the one taking care of it she won’t feed him or shower him, she’ll just be with him when she’s going to sleep.

From what I gathered from her mom is that she has like a fear of expectations and compromises, like to give more context about her she’s a quite accomplished make up artist she actually makes a pretty penny out of it and she supports her family and all so quite ok in that regard. Now, once she had this conversation with my mom (my family owns a few businesses so we have ok money) and she wanted to put money down to grow my partner’s business since she was getting into the family in a serious way, she was flattered and told me the whole thing and I told her it sounded great and I was going to help her to set everything up tho it was going to envolve a few years for it to run by itself, to what she replied “oh I don’t want the responsibility” and I mean maybe I’m overeaching but she’s like that with anything that involves her sacrificing time or putting the effort since she knows she won’t be able to drink everyday anymore or be all pretty all the time.

sometimes I feel that because she sae my family had a bit of wealth instantly she was going to get a house and a car for me and her and like we’ve been together for 8 months like it’s kinda unrealistic at least in my books plus is my families money not only mine.

I have a friend with diagnosed BPD and she said it could be BPD but that she might have narcissistic traits, in hindsight she had a rough upbringing like you know she’s transgender an she transitioned on the early 2010s when there was not a lot of acceptance and awareness of lbgtq people plus she was raised by a single mother so it could explain why she developed BPD.

I’ve asked her to talk out things when she’s sober but she flat out avoids the confrontation like while drunk she’ll tell me to go to her place and stay with her and only when I got fed up and popped in her place without asking again I was able to see her in person after weeks of no physical contact. I think she doesn’t wants me to bring up uncomfortable situations to the table which I have a few, like people around her showing me that she was on a dating site for trans women for a while already, and I mean myself in willing to work out things if possible but it feels like I’m doing everything and destroying myself in the process (also I know 100% that was her cause she used a picture of her in my car and never posted that pic in social media)

Myself I definitely need to stop drinking every weekend since I’m fearful of becoming dependent to that I’ll give the tea a try and try to manage my anxiety in a healthier way.

That sounds horrible really I’m sorry you had to go through that and I cannot even imagine how it should be to deal with someone in your family with those traits. But definitely I feel that once I manage to break the loop in my head I’ll have a lot of development emotionally and psychologically.

Also thanks for your last words, I need to remind myself I’m a good person and have a lot going on for myself and as well it already happened as soon as I stopped beging her to talk she came back trying to catch me and the cycle repeated itself I need to cut her completely from my life and detox.

Thanks again and courage for you as well.

Yes definitely some of the things there are of the ones she’ve said to me. At the beginning I couldn’t tell if I was right or wrong to be honest since (and I’ll get a bit personal here) the first time we had an issue was over some random girl that she deemed less (she actually said she was a whore) told her that she dated me for a short while and she was trying to frame me as disgusting over that and that how I never told her I dated that girl, thanks to ADHD and being a bit of a neofite in relationships I assumed I was in the wrong for not being totally open over that, but now I know it is not normal to have to talk who I dated before hell I never asked who she dated previously cause I truly don’t care.

I’m so scared that now I’m in for a ride since she’ll be leaving to Europe for a beauty pageant and the thought that she might find someone “better” than me ticks my rejection fears and hypersensitivity the wrong way.