Having kids makes you think differently. It makes you think about longer term plans, and immediate plans. It makes you yearn for stability. It makes you more succeptible to scare tactics. It makes you less likely to rock the boat.
It made me personally accept shittier situations personally (work) for the percieved benefit of ensuring stability for my baby. You can imagine how that extrapolates across an authoritarian society.
Even knowing it would probably be fine to advocate for myself, to push for what I deserved; knowing that it was purely biology pushing me to make the choice, I still picked percieved stability. I just couldn’t bring myself risk being fired.
Counter-intuitevely, we think of parents as being primed to defend their children from any and all attacks and threats. That works monkey to monkey, but at scale, it breaks down. Being parents makes both men and women more vulnerable.
As for immediate effect: I’d be a lot easier to coerce if you had access to my family.
Edit: It also makes you busy as fuck. Ain’t nobody got time for nothin’ when they have a kid. Certainly not for uncertain outcomes, like resistance groups or political disident work
There is no trick. This will require active repragramming from you for months.
I couldn’t find a quit method that took the fight out of my addiction. You have to want to quit more than your addiction. That’s nice but doesn’t mean much.
I found in practice, this equates to action in meeting cravings with determination. Even if you don’t really feel it. You’re used to feeling anxious/angry/sad/sorry for yourself when you can’t have a cigarette. Take back that moment, that feeling. Redefine it. It’s a battle you’re choosing, and the best thing you can do is practice fighting it.
The plus side is, the battle will change as you fight it. So you won’t get bored!
The first two weeks are the hardest.
You already know the first fight, if you’ve ever had to wait for the shops to open to buy some cigarettes or tobacco. You’ve just got to raw dog that. It’s going to suck, but it will at least suck with purpose.
After about 4 days, I started getting spiky, intense cravings that passed after about 30 mins to an hour. Several times a day.
By week two, I only struggled when I was around smokers, saw it on tv, read about it, had a drink (it’s still hard).
There was a resurgence in cravings in month two. I felt I’d earned a puff or two. This is a trap. Notice it, it’s a useful trigger to double down on deciding not to smoke
I’m now a year in off of vaping and cigarettes. It’s still sometimes hard, but mostly I don’t think about it, except to be glad I don’t need to go for a smoke. I don’t miss things at parties anymore. I don’t miss moments with my daughter. Plane rides are way easier.