Signed!

So could you keep your hand soft by wearing a glove full of vaseline?

I’m asking for a friend, well I say he’s a friend, he’s a dickhead.

It’s like who do you trust to fix your car:

Your mechanic who you know has worked on cars before they could drive one, is passionate about cars, and has already gotten several shit boxes to run more reliably than a factory fresh Toyota.

Or this random spice head with a foil hat who just rolled up started kicking your tires and saying your car won’t run because of a Jewish parts conspiracy.

As someone who’s worked with battery gauge ICs for embedded electronics, this made me cry. Just leave the damn engineer alone and USE YOUR PRODUCT PROPERLY YOU FUCKING USER!

I’m ok I’m ok, I’m calm, I’m centered, I won’t blame the user for being an idiot, I’m calm, I’m centered, I won’t blame the user for being an idiot, I’m calm, I’m centered, I won’t blame the user for being an idiot.

Fun fact: this is how fire fighters used to be.

There’d be fire markers on the outer walls to indicate which fire protection company covered that building and whichever firefighter turned up would bill that fire protection company who’d then bill the customer/customer’s insurance company.

Edit: typo.

Remind me again, why should Keir be in prison?

They are so dense their brain is a black hole; not a single intelligent thought is able to escape.

Everyone: Aww 🥹

My brain:

🎵 Beaaannss ooon meee.

Beans on me

Beeeaaaans meee ooooooon.

Beans on me

I’ll beeeee gooooone

In a pet or twooooooooooooooooo! 🎵

Can u get preganté?

Allow me to introduce my little friend:

Atomic Habits: How to use habits to build your own identity for the life you want.

12 Rules for Life: Follow these specific habits to take on the author’s identity for the life he thinks you must have.

He has a wife you know… do you know what she’s called?

I can see the headline writer at the Guardian is having a little giggle to themselves.

Um PugJesus, are you just LazerPig in disguise?

Fucking hell, that’s a visceral emotion on full display there. Outstanding work OP! I’m saving this as a visual reference for some writing I’m working on, I hope you don’t mind.

It’s like both sides forget that free market socialism exists too.

This is the way

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Get that bitch a cannon! Bitches LOVE cannons!