ℕ𝕖𝕞𝕠

Last week, my five-year-old hit some litter at full speed and flipped over the handlebars of his scooter.

When I didn’t, I would walk three blocks to the library with my laptop once a day to check my email, read webcomics, look up GameFAQs and stream Gossip Girl.

Maybe the “GameFAQs” gives it away but this was before smartphones.

I’ve seen a few blogs with “Don’t comment to say you didn’t like the article, Doug” as a rule.

Quite the opposite.

Though, TBF, my wife’s maiden aunt sends us a fat pre-inheritance check every other year or so. We usually put it towards a trip to visit her or fixing up the house.

I love it, and that’s why I want to improve it. And you can’t fix a problem without acknowledging it exists.

I got a waterproof case, so I use mine as a coaster.

Doris Hall, aka “The Solo Cup Lady”

Still know all the songs!

No, I mean both the shadowy organizations of which I am a member are already documented, as is the fact that I am a member of each.

At some point, it stops being a secret society and starts being just a society with secrets.

Sorry, all my conspiracies are publicly known.

I mean, it is the logo

“second language” English has problems with articles, unusual plurals, irregular verbs, and tends to an overly formal tone

“only” English has problems with homophones, apostrophe placement, and using slang where it’s not appropriate

So, like, any self-propogating idea, you don’t like it?

Congrats on your unique brain architecture, I guess. When the rest of us are destroyed by parasitic thought-worms, you’ll be there to continue the human race…

Really depends what you mean by “memes”.

Definitely thought this was going to be about the other kind of baddies, in which case the answer is generally “they’re married, with kids”.

The seats are assigned, the baggage compartments are self-serve.

My wife just picked up an entire apartment’s worth of antique dishes. We’ll sort, check for lead, and probably give most of the safe ones away but save our favorites.