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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 2nd, 2023

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  • Idk. I was in a highschool debate club a bit over a decade ago, and I was very good at the public forum event. Like, regularly in the top 32 for both the NFL and CFL national tournaments good. There were other people at the top of that ladder with me that made very effective use of the “pound the table” strategy, and how well it worked often boiled down to judge variance. People act that way in debates because it absolutely works on some viewers


  • What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Corgi Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Cat-a, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in german shepherd warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US canine forces. You are nothing to me but just another treat. I will wipe you the fuck out with pawcision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of staffies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, cat-boy. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can have zoomies anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare paws. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Kennel Club and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little bad-dog. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “catty” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have worn your fucking cone. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.


  • Be on site military contractor

    Told I’ll be making infinitemoney.jpg

    Actually make slightlymorethangs.jpg but with no pension

    Tfw ptsd from analyzing combat footage

    Tfw actively and daily shunned as “not one of us, just a dirty filthy contractor”

    Tfw you can’t get another engineering job because your entire portfolio is classified

    Tfw when there is no mental health support or support groups available for aforementioned “just a dirty filthy contractor” reasons

    Decide to go back to college instead of killing self

    Check brand new school email

    “Hi, my name is Sgt Fuckface! Here at the national guard we’re looking for promising young graduates like you”