Reasons I don’t do standup:

I was born with a nuchal cord times 4 that means umbilical cord wrapped around my neck 4 times. So really if you think about it, I’ve been trying to kill myself longer than I’ve been alive.

So I figured if they were gonna be like that they were at least gonna give me some Ativan, so I… earned me some Ativan. And Benadryl. And haldol. In the industry this is referred to as a B52 as in, Benadryl, 5mg of Haldol, and 2mg of Ativan. I did not get a B52, I got a B 10 and 4 (I really earned it) and woke up on the floor of (State hospital) with my back seized up from the haldol and ~*that’s how I found out they were hiring!*~

And after that I just kept working in mental health because I figured if I was going to be stuck in psych hospitals for the rest of my life I might as well have the keys.

And now I have ten more years of jokes like that. Many of them involve feces and I often forget not to tell them over dinner.

I feel like there’s some statistical fuckery going on here. I feel like in a lot of super religious communities 2 is a lot, maybe 3 depending on how many youth pastors talked you into a blowie when you were 14. Versus in a lot of more liberal communities premarital sex and divorces are a lot more common. And those communities reproduce like fucking rabbits vs other communities are out here fucking a lot but only reproducing responsibly.

I’ve also wondered if a lot of the highly religious women I grew up with finding sex unpleasant or a chore is mostly just due to the sex being bad. If they won’t even tell you what a clitoris is, the men are literally taught that they’re owed it and they don’t need to bother making it pleasant, and then add in that (EDIT: LATE) masturbation in women is associated with inability to orgasm as an adult… best case scenario most of the experience is just one long chafing sensation. No wonder all the women I grew up with mostly just found the whole thing gross!

edit: lol my phone cut out the word late before masturbation and that completely changes the meaning of that sentence. What I meant to say is that studies show that if women don’t masturbate when they’re young they’re at much higher risk for anorgasmia later in life.

I’m actually feeling ok for just this one last night. I had a patient get more physically ill than they really should be on a psych unit but not so much I completely couldn’t handle it workout the charge nurse making all the phone calls. The patient was actually super grateful the whole time and their condition improved a lot which was a nice change of pace. Dayshift was pissed but not at me, and there’s just something deeply satisfying about knowing the hospitalist is about to get verbally fisted for not admitting your patient to medical (as they should, there was a lot more luck involved in my success than is generally advisable in a hospital setting). I’m really, really good at holding a crisis together until sunrise, but at my last job they forgot how good I was to the extent that they stopped realizing it was me putting all the fires out, and eventually they forgot the fires even existed. It’s only been six months so we’ll see but so far but them telling me the hospitalist boutta find out about our unit manager is… nice. It’s just nice.

Honestly I loved anime growing up but I went on a date with a guy in college who spent the entire date talking about anime in a manner that communicated his big tit fetish on the first date. Like. I would have loved talking about Inuyasha or fma among a few others I remembered really enjoying. But nope. Anime tiddies. So when I read this I’m like… Are you sure it was the anime dude or was it maybe actually something tangentially related to the anime?

Otoh if it really truly was the anime anon dodged a bullet anyway.

I was gonna say I wonder how advances in dna / rna manipulation will affect that but now we’re getting into a topic that I last interacted with in like 2-3 101-102 level college courses 5+ years ago 😅

I remember reading a paper on phage therapy ages ago. Iirc the implementation difficulty was that you have to culture the bacteria from the patient then use that culture to breed the phages. Culture & Sensitivity testing alone is already usually a 24h+ process and even a tricky sample collection process; at least when I was a phlebotomist 10 years ago it was the most complicated process I was qualified to perform.

On the other hand phage therapy is great because you don’t really have resistance issues and they’re not going to be harmful to the person. Viruses are extremely host specific compared to bacteria so if they feed on a certain type of bacteria they’re unlikely to be or are even incapable of hurting a human. Vancomycin on the other hand requires regular peak and trough testing to make sure the person is getting enough to kill bacteria but not enough to kill the person.

The issue being that in addition to the culture they then have to breed the phages with a sample of the bacteria collected from the patient. You could maybe develop a “library” of phages to try but I feel like you’d need to keep getting population samples because they’re that host specific. I’m also not sure how long breeding the phages would take vs how long it takes to test antibiotic sensitivity.

And often wouldn’t be a drag on society and would grow up and walk and talk and poop on their own and do everything else an able bodied person does if they just had stuff like early surgical interventions and their $0.03 a day medication that’s existed since 1983.

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I would post in that comm but my main contribution would be to add a conspiracy theory about how China did engineer the virus but targeting the uighurs (and their own elderly) not Americans based on an entire crackpot web a la iasip including everything from blood types to reports of people who have survived the camps saying they were injected with unknown substances but I can read the room well enough to know where my tinfoil hat belongs.

Even if it is all fake its not like you can prove a negative anyway and I may as well do it surrounded by cool rocks.

I evened out by getting into esoteric religion. Now I can tell you which angel to pray to when you need some imagery to focus on while you meditate about why you shouldn’t fuck your ex. The virtue of chastity is here for you from the middle order of angels to help remind you to not think with your little head you horny dumbass. But I also know which lubes go with which types of toys so its not like I’m sex negative either.

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