Give Canada statehood, buy Greenland, colonize Mars, and do all of these things under the leadership of a bunch of television personalities, the budgetary guidance of a guy who overpaid for Twitter by at least 25 billion and immediately devalued it, and the control of a geriatric, senial moron President. And the dude hasn’t even gotten back in office yet. The Onion doesn’t even stand a chance for the next 4 years.