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Comrade, please do not escape. How about we give you beautiful apartment on 16th floor? Please, come have a look at the balcony, the view is to die for.
I was going to say that the traditional way to leave the Russian army is to charge a Ukrainian machine gun nest and get mowed down with a hundred friends.
It’s much easier now as all you need to do is sit and wait for a drone and you never need to leave your trench.