I have used Modafinil before occasionally, and it helped quite a bit, but the strong side effects forced me to save it for emergencies.
6 days ago first Elvanse. Within about 30 minutes of the first dose, many problems were gone completely! No mental effort to do what’s needed, be it laundry or a subtask at work. It feels like my brain is a little butler whom I can just order around without doing it myself. Many things just happen, e. g. I put garbage in the bin, carry dishes back to the kitchen as I go anyway, without thinking about it. Complete instant fix. Also a constant feeling like a hundred bucks, better than many recreational drugs.
Almost feeling bad when gaming at the end of the day, keeping it brief, doing extra work hours right before bed. The effect has somewhat worn off by then, but the no-effort-to-do-things is still there.
I always did feel better when checking things off my todo-list, even untreated, but now I get a lot more done, since there is no pain to just do it.
I can also work out until the body just physically gives in; there is no mental barrier to fight like “ONE MORE REP!!!”. It might have been a mistake to exploit that in the first few days, leading to exhaustion and more difficulty to judge the right dose / side effects. When I saw someone who was very buff, I used to think: He may not look like it, but he has fantastic discipline, focus and willpower. Now I wonder if some of these people are just normal, lol
This is a completely different life, and slightly better than Modafinil! I am a little worried about when the effect wears off and I need a break, but I’ve been there before: A lot can get done with just about 50 “super-days” per year.
What did not improve one bit is my forgetfulness and other cognitive problems. Just as stupid as before, e. g. packing a suitcase, putting things next to it to stash something else and then forgetting them. Leaving my phone in insane places. Barely able to use the self-checkout at a supermarket. It’s always an adventure, looking confused between the card screen and the items screen, often needing an employee, forgetting my card there and not realising before the next day etc. Problems with web UIs & pop-ups. That’s what my GP wanted checked out 1 1/2 years ago, but no appointments.
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I can focus longer on tasks I don’t want to do, like pointless work tasks and can retain information in the shirt term longer than without meds. Completion of large and complex work doesn’t end up being a downward spiral of ‘what if’ side tracks that aren’t relevant, and refraining from speaking up when not needed is way easier. Social interactions are a lot less stressful because i say what I’m actially thinking snd not drifting into random tangents.
What didn’t work is long term retention of learned skills. Whole meds helped with doing new things in the short term even when uninterested, I still have to relearn most things I haven’t done for a few years. Honestly that is the worst thing for me related to ADHD, repeating all of the same mistakes any time i do something I don’t do regularly and instantky remembering how I made that mistake the last two times I relearned it.
I can relate to the paralysing “what ifs”.
Yeah, being able to focus on the important ones is such a huge benefit of meds when doing large and complex processes that can have an endless number of possibilities.
I’ve taken Adderall for the past year and tried some other stimulants. So far adderall is tolerated better by my body and and wallet compared to other meds.
Improvements: Follow-through with tasks since I can hold an idea or thought to the end. Being okay with good enough, I am not fighting my self to make it perfect and just move on. I can read a book. Math is actually interesting since it doesn’t feel like I am looking at a shattered mirror of scattered lessons. I am suprised about how much stuff I have retained from school but couldn’t utilize. My handwriting is great and doesnt feel like a chore to make it legible. Conversations feel like I’m actually in the room and participating. I don’t know how I did customer service and retail before.
What did not improve: My short term memory still sucks. Playing 20 questions to get a super simple concept out is shorter but still happens. Procratination is just different, now I do some productive stuff while procrastinating so maybe it’s an improvement. While doing things is easier, the planning phase of anything is a game of moving deck chairs on the Titanic and I just improvise in the end. Time is still an illusion and holy fuck I’m late for work.
Also a constant feeling like a hundred bucks, better than many recreational drugs.
Be aware that the euphoria is a temporary side effect and will only last for a week or two. The “actually being able to do things” part will remain, but feeling like a hundred bucks is due to the drug literally being an amphetamine and will fade as your body becomes tolerant of the dosage level you’re taking.
I was afraid it might be like that. Also quite possible that the euphoria does part of the job, so I actually need more. Low dose opioids have a similar effect on me - I’m euphoric, I get things done. So currently, it might even be like 60 % euphoria, 40 % noradrenalin, explaining that I need only 12 mg when the lowest child dose even is 20 mg. I might end up with something like 30 mg.
The danger I see is that I think I need to up the dose to match the euphoria from the start, while I actually need to get to the point where it’s 0 % euphoria, 100 % noradrenalin.
Very much simplified, if not wrong, as noradrenalin might be a main contributor to the euphoria.
I found that the initial euphoria helped me get out and do things I normally wouldn’t (like catch up with friends and family I’d lost track of over the years), and the satisfaction from that helped keep me naturally happy after the false euphoria faded. Your mileage may vary, but actually getting things done for once helped a ton with my related disorders like anxiety and depression and things weren’t nearly as bad even when I started feeling normal again. And remember, the medication’s ability to let your brain feel motivation doesn’t fade, only the euphoric feeling.
The danger I see is that I think I need to up the dose to match the euphoria from the start, while I actually need to get to the point where it’s 0 % euphoria, 100 % noradrenalin.
That’s one of the main things my doctor warned me about when I started taking Vyvanse. He said that even though it might feel like your medication isn’t working as well, to not to chase that rush because it won’t actually help your symptoms and you’ll quickly become tolerant of the higher dose as well. All you’ll accomplish is paying more for a higher risk of side effects.
Not to mention if you appear to be a drug seeker they might decide to switch to a different, non-controlled medication that doesn’t work nearly as well as what you’re currently on.
This is certainly very helpful as it is. The way I had to live below my potential, I need only like 50 good days in a year. If things don’t work out as I hope, I could use Methylphenidate 50 times per year to achieve that.
Overall, I thought there is not such a clear separation between the euphoria and fixing the ADHD symptoms, as both are caused by noradrenalin, among other things. However, after some reading today, I realise that the intended effect of the medication works with such neurotransmitters in the prefrontal cortex and can very well do so over years, while euphoria is caused by the same neurotransmitters, but elsewhere.