I look really young. Like I’m 40 but routinely pass for early 20s or even late teens if I do my makeup with that aim.
I get carded buying alcohol a lot. I hated it until I was about 27, and it really started to make me feel great! Especially once my gray hair started growing in (I dye it regularly so nobody really sees them, but I know they’re there). If all you’re trying to do is guess how old I am from how I look, I will love your answer.
But people often judge my experience or expertise as if I am only as old as I look when I am really twice that age. I hate when people assume I’m the office assistant or new hire when I’m the Assistant Director. I had physical therapy for several months due to a chronic shoulder injury, and the old ladies there loved to tell (not ask) me that physical therapy must be so easy for me as if my joints aren’t fucked and my pain and effort aren’t real. Still pisses me off so much.
And don’t get me started on the creepy old guys who see legal jail bait…eugh.
I hate when people assume I’m the office assistant or new hire when I’m the Assistant Director.
I started my own company, with my name on it. I want to punch old white man who asks if “Mr Alcaran” is in, or if the owner is my father or husband.
I once did an interview with someone who asked me if this was my internship. He didn’t get the job.
There’s a lot of micro-aggressions and straight up aggressions in this post, but honestly your comment strikes the biggest nerve for me. It genuinely shows that a portion of the world don’t consciously see women as business owners
literally everywhere everyday. i look mean enough for folks to keep a safe distance but their tongues dont care heh
Oh man, one time I got judged hard at a job interview just for having tattoos. The interviewer didn’t even bother asking about my experience, just kept asking if I “planned on getting more ink.” It was really frustrating, but I ended up finding a way better job a few weeks later that didn’t care about tattoos. Sometimes these things just work out.
Depends on where I work as a Nurse…most places are cool with scrubs and showing tatoos but there was a couple places I was stationed at that forbid them and had you cover them up. I thought it was stupid because patients would ask why are you wearing long sleeves when its like 100 degrees or something.
I weigh like 115 pounds and I’m like 5’7. So I feel like those toxic masculinity dudes always want me to “prove my worth” a little extra cause of my size. Everywhere I go people call me “kid”, but I’m a father of 3.
I wanted nothing to do with those dudes, so I never ran into this problem. Masculinity standards are dumb and pointless; it’s a mug’s game.
I dont either, but the only place that even called me back for their IT position was a construction company and the name of the game is work or starve for us poors.
I’m a big guy and small guys are always trying to prove themselves against me ever since I can remember. this toxic shit has got to go.
Its probably some sort of vicious cycle. Especially if the small guy is still dealing with past biases. Now I pretty much announce I’m nuthin’ but a nerd so you won’t get far talking to me about sports. This seems to kill a lot of toxic competition unless they’re in my same department.
That’s really weird. If they’re tough guys then picking on you proves nothing, except that they’re cowards.
So I tend to dress “well”. I’m not great at fashion, but I shave every morning, force myself to spend a bit of money on nice tshirts, etc.
On the weekends though, I let it all go. I go out to the store in my PJs, I don’t shave, I wear my hat and hoodie up, and to be honest look a bit like a thug. I notice people on the street are a little less comfortable walking by, however…
One thing that stood out insanely was the grocery store. When I dress like a homeless person, it is night and day difference:
- Cashier keeps the checkout stuff closer to them
- While my card transaction is pending, if I start loading stuff in my bag they’re like “oh, oh wait… It’s still pending”
- Even when I start the small-talk (“How is your day going?”), responses are short
When I dress well:
- Cashier doesn’t mind when I start loading my backpack even before paying
- Cashiers always smile and ask how my day is
I was planning on writing a blog post about it (plug to !dginovker_blog@lemmy.ml), but wanted to get more data points first
I’m Jewish.
Not as drastic as some of these comments, but I used to be pulled over once a month when I had long hair and a beard. I had a 45 minute commute everyday and like clockwork, once a month I would get pulled over for a bs reason (speeding by 5mph, flashing highs to warn other drivers, suspicious vehicle etc). Once I cut my hair, no more problems, go figure.
White guy in Japan. A lot of people will assume I don’t speak any Japanese (=am a tourist). I’ve had it many times where after a transaction at a shop, the staff literally tells me “I’m so glad you spoke Japanese, I was so afraid when you walked up since I can’t speak English”
Same boat. I’m yet to find a good response to that. On one hand, I want to be like “haha yea”, but on the other hand, I want to be modest and not comment on it… Which is just like an awkward silence. I usually just say something like “oh yea I used to live here” but even that feels like oversharing :p
I grew up non-christian in a small town. It was bad.
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Then why are you commenting?
Fair point, I can see how this does not add to the conversation. Sometimes I forget I am not legitimately supposed to answer with a negative.
It’s an understandable mistake regardless, but just for your reference, the “What is your story?” at the end informally indicates it only wants affirmative answers because that’s how you’d have a “story” to tell in this regard. There are often hints like that in a question like this.
