I’m kinda in this meme. I went through one of those big bottles roughly every 1-2 months for 20 years. Sometimes 12 pills in one day, with 4-8 acetaminophen on top (they do giant double packs of those too). Chronic migraines, but every doctor I asked for help just told me to lose weight so it went untreated and got worse and worse. Our health care suuuucks.

I did lose the weight. It didn’t magically fix my migraines, or affect them at all. Insurance dicked me around for another year and a half while my neurologist tried to help every way she could, but we finally got it down to only one migraine a week. I’m truly glad for that, but I still think about the years of unnecessary suffering, and how much better it might be now if I’d been treated sooner.

Look up DoctorRamani on YouTube. Her videos were informative and validating when I was trying to escape my abusive narcissist ex. I also found journaling to help. I put all my thoughts and feelings about the relationship down in a journaling app, which helped clarify my thoughts, work through the emotions, and it served as a record against her attempts at gaslighting. I could also go back and refresh my memory, and I was surprised how deeply unhappy I was all the time. I knew there were problems and that I was struggling while trying to get her to be better, but I had this general sense that things were kind of okay. They were not, and it was really clear when I read it back.

Best of luck to you getting and maintaining as much distance as you can. It’s hard now, but you will heal. Once the effect of the abuse starts to wear off, it’ll get a lot easier.

wtf, meds by the day and weekly piss tests? Damn that’s brutal. Is it because of where you live or do they know about your drug history and just treat you like shit because of that?

That’s what really gets me: they’ll vilify someone using a harmless medicine in moderation for treatment purposes, but completely overlook people who get totally fucked up on alcohol on the regular. It’s so backwards. I avoided weed for decades until it was prescribed to me because “drugs are bad” and it didn’t take long after trying it to figure out what a ridiculous lie that is. Not all drugs are equal, and alcohol is worse than at least a few.

Lots of not accepting new patients and places that never end up calling me back even after multiple tries. Websites which specifically said they had availability were not accepting new patients when called. It’s exhausting.

If you are also in the US, I suspect the reason why is the looming threat from the DEA. Even if you are not a telemedicine patient, if your doctor’s office offers it as an option then they’re probably applying a blanket policy to everybody regardless. I hope they don’t treat you as badly as they did me. Depending on the doctor, they could still elect to allow your marijuana use. It just means if they get audited, they have to justify why they’re prescribing stimulants to a marijuana user. There is no reason not to and you have a long history of benefitting from the medication, so it should be clear cut. But the doctor may still decide it’s not worth the hassle or risk, like mine did.

Had I known ahead of time it might be a problem, I would have abstained as long as possible before the test (preferably over two weeks) and looked into detox drinks and other fast detox tricks. Worst that happens is I fail anyway and wind up right where I am now: needing to find a new doctor. But it could have saved me the trouble of needing to switch so soon. Maybe it can buy you some time.

I have a friend that helps me with some basic stuff, but in recent years they’ve gotten busier and more stressed, and I’m always going to have them put themselves first. They still help a lot, but it has gotten harder when they can’t help and I don’t get my own shit together. I’m embarrassed to admit how long it takes me to find a new doctor or therapist. I’ve never looked into an advocate, though. I don’t think I’d qualify, but I’ll definitely take a look, thanks!

I don’t think it’s a medical reason. If my cardiovascular health were at risk, stimulants alone would be a bad idea. I’m healthy enough and my usage is minimal. He tossed out some BS about working memory, but if I go down that rabbit hole this comment will get 5x as long.

The benefit of the doubt here is he’s covering his own ass. The DEA has been threatening to crack down on stimulant prescribers for a while, especially over telemedicine (which this was). If he gets audited and has to justify why he’s prescribing stimulants to a drug user, he could lose his medical license - or he may just not want to deal with the research and extra work needed to write up that justification.

To that end, it fucking sucks, but I can’t really blame him. I just wish he had been more honest and up front with me like I was with him. We could have waited a month to take the drug test and I’d have passed it, then this whole thing could have been avoided. Instead he looks down on me and repeatedly hasn’t truly listened to what I’ve told him. I won’t pass judgment on him the same way he did to me, but I will say his style is incompatible with me as a patient. I’m an active participant in my own care and I need a doctor who will form a collaborative relationship with me, not dictate treatment decisions.

Thankfully it’s not my GP, but yeah it’s time to find another provider and start all over again. I went looking for a psychiatrist to manage my meds for a different reason a month or two ago and struck out half a dozen times before running out of steam, so it’s a little easier said than done. I’ll get there eventually, just … it’s weirdly difficult to get help and executive dysfunction can be a real bitch. I won’t miss this provider though, so that’s some motivation!

I don’t have a source handy, but from what I remember: yes, a feral child can learn language later, but never to the same level of fluency. It’s more like learning a second language. Also there is extremely limited data because it mostly comes from horrifically abusive situations.

If I remember right, the most interesting data came from a study that gathered deaf children from areas where they had no sign language. The young children rapidly developed sign language, but the older children (teens) had a hard time keeping up and did not reach the same fluency.