I would also like to know where Pastafarianism falls.

To everyone else who laughed at this: how are your knees doing, old timer?

The children yearn for the mines.

Yeah everytime someone says “just learn COBOL, you’ll make tons of money,” it’s like,

Bro.

There’s a reason no one wants to write new software in these languages anymore, let alone maintain a forty-year-old pile of technical debt.