You’re a better host then I.

Like Joey Diaz or Bill Cosby?

I sprinkle LEGO around before inviting friends over.

Careful how much pepper you put in it, you don’t want it too spicy.

Sorry I’m lost.

Are we talking about drugs, god or forgiveness?

Kids should be allowed to have cell phones so they can learn good habits and self control with them.

They’ve definitely never traded their assholes for a shot of heroin so dirty it’s barely going to help the dope sickness.

Bill Burr became culturally relevant by being controversial.

Arguably still better than Dr. Oz.

If you put it on a burn it holds in heat and hospitals use a wire brush to scrub it out of burns.

Yeah I’ll evenly spread out Elon Musk’s $200 billion.

One of my favourite lawyers, he’s helped me out a couple times.

Andrew Jackson.

Wow this has it all!

Ignorance, body shaming and a dash of fetishizing America.

Trump is a true constitutionalist.

He better mail them out quick before Trump gets in and transfers it to his own account.

She got 782,528 votes or about 0.5% of the popular vote.

You’re misrepresenting her votes by about 26 times less.

Why is that?

Liberals liked Harris but the self-described leftists like Trump.

I assure you that I know what I mean.