• EleventhHour@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    No no no no NO!

    This is some guilt-tripping, gaslighting, deflecting DARVO bullshit, and I won’t have it.

    Bigots do not become bigots because of their exposure to “others”. When those of us who are “others” [refuse to tolerate the intolerance of others] (out of principle or justifiable self-defense) (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_tolerance), their frustration and their lashing-out as a result is not our fault. Nobody can be held responsible for another individual’s lack of emotional self-control.

    When people act out with violence, motivated by hate, fear, and ignorance, they are to blame— never the victims.

    • CaptainEffort@sh.itjust.works
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      4 months ago

      Someone being at fault for something, and someone unintentionally influencing another, are two separate things.

      Family members going down toxic rabbit holes as a response to someone close to them coming out, is just that - a response to someone close to them coming out. It is quite literally cause and effect.

      That doesn’t mean that the family member’s bigotry is the person’s problem though, nor should they feel any sense of blame whatsoever.