Being mean is willfully making people around you feel worse. Being cringe is negligently making people around you feel worse. Once you’re aware you’re cringe, if you do nothing to mitigate it, you’re being willfully negligent, which is just as bad as doing something intentionally.
Edit: I’ve posted the same joke as a response each time I’ve seen this meme, and this is the first time it hasn’t been well-received. Just in case that’s down to people thinking I’m being mean instead of making a joke, I’ll clarify that I am in favour of letting people enjoy things.
Being cringe is enjoying things that people think is embarrassing or lame. If someone likes Sonic the Hedgehog enough to wear sonic shirts every day, should they stop wearing them because it’s “cringe”?
Being mean is willfully making people around you feel worse. Being cringe is negligently making people around you feel worse. Once you’re aware you’re cringe, if you do nothing to mitigate it, you’re being willfully negligent, which is just as bad as doing something intentionally.
Cringe is just vicarious embarrassment. You are feeling embarrassed on behalf of someone else. Unlike empathy, where you share the emotion someone else is experiencing, cringe is generally embarrassment for the actions of someone else who is not embarrassed.
I suspect this is an instinct that helps us create social norms. We are embarrassed that someone else is acting in a way that would embarrass us, so we are encouraged to let them know that what they’re doing isn’t right. This is helpful if someone has toilet paper stuck to their shoe, or their fly is down, or they have some food stuck in their teeth.
But it isn’t helpful if the thing they’re doing is intentional, harmless, and they’re owning it. Let people live their lives, and work on your response to their behavior or appearance rather than policing them to make yourself feel better.
Being mean is willfully making people around you feel worse. Being cringe is negligently making people around you feel worse. Once you’re aware you’re cringe, if you do nothing to mitigate it, you’re being willfully negligent, which is just as bad as doing something intentionally.
Edit: I’ve posted the same joke as a response each time I’ve seen this meme, and this is the first time it hasn’t been well-received. Just in case that’s down to people thinking I’m being mean instead of making a joke, I’ll clarify that I am in favour of letting people enjoy things.
Doing something that brings me joy but makes you cringe sounds like a “you” problem.
Being cringe is enjoying things that people think is embarrassing or lame. If someone likes Sonic the Hedgehog enough to wear sonic shirts every day, should they stop wearing them because it’s “cringe”?
Cringe is just vicarious embarrassment. You are feeling embarrassed on behalf of someone else. Unlike empathy, where you share the emotion someone else is experiencing, cringe is generally embarrassment for the actions of someone else who is not embarrassed.
I suspect this is an instinct that helps us create social norms. We are embarrassed that someone else is acting in a way that would embarrass us, so we are encouraged to let them know that what they’re doing isn’t right. This is helpful if someone has toilet paper stuck to their shoe, or their fly is down, or they have some food stuck in their teeth.
But it isn’t helpful if the thing they’re doing is intentional, harmless, and they’re owning it. Let people live their lives, and work on your response to their behavior or appearance rather than policing them to make yourself feel better.
NB: I am not a psychologist.