I grew up in (foreign) country A but then moved back to my home country (B) with my parents. I plan to move back to country A eventually because I feel 100% at home in the culture there, but am just a bit unsure about the timing. The problem is that I’d like to get into dating (I’m 21) and country A has a really low amount of people of my type, whereas the country I’m originally from (B) has plenty (but I only feel 70-80% at home here). So I’m thinking I might postpone my move back country A where this won’t really be possible until in a couple of years when I’m more happy to settle down. I wanted to ask you older folks if you think this is a wise idea.

  • athairmor@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    3 months ago

    Is your goal marriage or just dating?

    If marriage, consider that anyone from B with whom you may otherwise find compatibility may not be comfortable in A.

    If just dating, stay in B for a while. Date people and learn what you need/want in a partner. Treat it like practice for finding a partner—while respecting and being open and honest with the people you’re dating. Then move back to A when you’re ready to put down roots. Maybe you’ll be lucky and meet someone in B who is amazing and would like to live in A—has been there and is as comfortable as you there. Or, you move back to A and maybe broaden your preconceived notion of who is an acceptable partner.

    Don’t rush anything, be prepared to adjust your expectations, respect the other person’s needs and goals.

    It sounds like you’re from a culture/religion that is somewhat insular. Consider that there may be people outside your culture who will respect it and be compatible as long as you respect theirs.

    • SubArcticTundra@lemmy.mlOPEnglish
      0·
      3 months ago

      Thanks for this advice. Yes, I’m not looking for marriage for a long while. What you say about staying in country B makes sense.

      It sounds like you’re from a culture/religion that is somewhat insular.

      Yes this is true to an extent

  • SirDerpy@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    3 months ago

    You enjoy the “culture” but not half the individuals comprising the gender. Reason and your (valid) feelings aren’t adding up. You shouldn’t make any major changes until you’ve more clarity. And, perhaps that clarity will come through the dating process.